I Hate Valentines Day!

So I watched I Hate Valentines Day... tonight alone..... which in some ways I love watching movies alone but in others I want to watch with other people because it helps me to control my emotions and not let things get to me. I actually loved this movie except for the slightly off to the side story line of how the main character's parents were divorced and how her father had had affairs...... really why did that part have to be just like my life. The culmination of this side line was that he had messed up her love life and that he shouldn't have done what he did, because she was afraid to fall in love.... I personally have never been afraid to fall in but have been a hopeless romantic who gives her heart too soon and then ends up getting it ripped out of her chest and stomped on. That is until Kansas came along who just fell in to my life and fell in love with me, and what a blessing that has been in my life. The father in the movie wants to apologize for what he had done, all my dad does is makes up lies and doesn't take responsibility. he doesn't even know if he will be at my wedding for crying out loud! Somethings just make me want to punch certain people in the face! I wont of course but still...... errrrr!

Busy

So school has been crazy crazy busy this week!!! Reading books, writing papers, studying for a test on Monday! I gave an impromto speech in my speech class about what I would be like if I were a guy! I said I would still be totally hot it was awesome! I'm applying for graduation for my associates!!

Mom and Dad finally discussed Divorce stuffs, and I know this shouldn't be annoying but it is they are being more civil toward each other now than before!

I get my pretty pretty wedding dress in a little over 24 hrs from now!!!! I am like wahoo!!

wedding stuff is the same basically just finishing compiling addresses right now. our guest list is at 260 people so not too bad! I am also trying to decide on whether or not to have some one sing the song as I walk down the isle or to just have it be instrumental.... I guess I will have to ask brides maid opinions on this! My veil is going to look amazing all because of Kansas' Grandma she is the best! We picked a date for our open house in Battle Mountain!

We will hopefully be finishing our engagement photos on Saturday if my lovely photographer is feeling better! we will also be going to see Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland! It looks amazing!

I have decided that I am going to go to bed at midnight every night (after tonight) and get up at 8 eat and go to the gym by 8:30 and go water walking then I am going to go weight lifting afterwards on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Saturdays! What is my new found motivation you might ask??? I got a new swimming suit and its way cute and I want to look really good in it by the time my honeymoon comes because we plan on stopping by Lagoon and I want to go to the water park part! I also need to get to tanning because the little bit of orange in it makes me look really pale! so yep thats all! Oh and mom said we might be able to move to the new house in about a week! so I'm keeping the fingers crossed!

Divorce

D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Divorce one of the most feared words in the English language. Its happening in my life not to me but to my parents, my dad got the divorce papers today and we ( my mom, brother and I) are at a hotel tonight because my dad wasn't home when we got home and my mom didn't want to deal with him getting home late and fighting etc. the hotel thing kinda puts a cramp in my night life because they actually sleep at night unlike me!

I had a paper due on Monday but thankfully my teacher gave me a few extra days when I told him what was going on! well thats all for tonight I just need to vege and watch the view on my laptop!

So I totally am sick of school!!! I have a paper due Monday, plus this weekend I have to pack all of my important stuff so that if my dad goes crazy..... and like burns down the house when he gets the divorce papers..... my stuff is safe! Its my moms idea and I think its a good idea but on the other hand I don't think he is going to do that i think we are more likely to end up with holes in the walls. So Kansas already took most of our wedding stuff to his grandma's house. We still need to move our center pieces and the beautiful quilts that my grandmother made us.

That reminded me that Kansas' grandma is making this beautiful edging to go around my veil and i just love it!!! If I can figure out how to put a picture up I will! It is the most beautiful thing! She is an amazing woman and is soo kind! I love her soo much!

Trisha told me that she would love to be a bridesmaid! Which is awesome because that means that my brother mike will get to walk with some one who is the around the same age.

So I am starting 2 different journeys in a sense. My mom is giving my dad divorce papers on Monday so that journey is rebuilding my family. this is going to be hard and take a lot of time and be very painful. I know it is for the best but it is still hard.

My next journey is the most important journey of my life! I'm getting married to the man that I love with all my heart and I know that we are going to make it. Lately because of my parents I have been having a hard time because the thoughts go through my head.... "There is no relationship that is guaranteed to last, there is no guarantee!" Kansas, my fiance is the best because when I have these thoughts he just holds me and tells me that we are nothing like my parents and he's told me time and time again that he will never give up on me! this proves to me that I am one of the most blessed people in the world, because he found me and decided that I was worth it. I am a Mormon woman and so we are getting married in the temple. I am so excited!! One of the only things that keeps me going and pulls me out of my pit of sadness that I have been in lately is that I know that my future family and the one that I belong to now are going to be forever!

Wedding planning is a pain in the butt and sooo expensive! My mom isn't really able to help me because she is dealing with divorce stuff. I am trying to plan my wedding while going to school. Thankfully I know what I want and have priced it I just have to put it in motion! I also have great support from Kansas and his family! His sister Tiffany is the best! She is fixing all of the food for the wedding! We just have to pay for it and help her out a bit, which is no big deal at all!

I bought my wedding dress on sale about 40% off from www.latterdaybride.com! They have the most beautiful modest dresses I have ever seen! I made a veil for myself and Kansas' grandma is going to try to crochet an edge around it and she will put beads in the crochet and then we are going to lace a purple ribbon through it! I am excited because it sounds soo beautiful! My MOH Kristi and I have figured out the center pieces and they just have to be put together once I find the right color of teal ribbon. My wedding colors are plum teal and black, with a 1940's Hollywood glamor under lying theme!

My future sister in law Shasta and her husband Jake are expecting! I'm waaaay excited for them! I kinda want it to be a girl so I can be like pretty dresses!! but no matter what it is I will be glad that it is safe and healthy! She was goign to be a brides maid for me but since she will be like 5-6 mo preggo by that time, she decided to opt out!

We added a fourth grooms man to our party being my little brother, so I need to add another brides maid, I am hoping that my future sister in law Trisha will say yes to my request of her because I absolutely love her to death and she cracks me up!

well I guess thats all for now I will talk to y'all later!